Another “odd” rant

loser-guy:

Here goes…..

Does anybody ever think about how rape affects men? Not rape to men but rape in general? If you follow me and my wife then you may know her situation and past. The fact that she is a rape survivor doesnt bother me. She is one of the strongest willed people I know. But it does affect me. I constantly worry about triggers. If she is asleep I hesitate to try and wake her up for sex, I’m not sure about when its “ok” to join her in the shower unless she says something before she gets in. She got me handcuffs for valentines day but I’m unsure as to how I go about initiating that. I’d like to get into bdsm a little more but dont want to trigger anything or for her to have an unpleasant experience that reminds her of her past in any way. I’d love to grap her by the back of the neck and guide her towards my member so she could suck it. But I hesitate and dont know if I could do this to her. I dont want to do anything that may remind her of her experiences or would make her liken me to her perpetrator. That is how rape may affect some men, and most people are oblivious to these issues. The same thing with the pictures, we’ve kinda talked about it. I’d rather take tons of pics even if we dont share them with anyone. I feel they are more for us anyways and I’d love to see her naked all the time. I dont want her to see me as forcefull or pushy about anything. I’m constantly worried about her comfort level and if I’m coming off as creepy or if I’m doing something wrong. All because I feel bad because of what some asshole did to her in the past. I wish I could help her forget or cope. Its not something I’d expect her to discuss with me, but I realize it is something that will most likely haunt her forever. Well I guess thats a random enough rant for now. And just think theres a small possibility that one day I could come face to face with the man who did this to her. I honestly do not know if I could control myself from pummeling the living shit out of this coward at this point. Well I hope this isnt to jumbly and rambly but its something Ive been tossing around in my noggin for a while and decided to attempt to get it out.

Reblogging because I can.

3 months ago  /  4 notes  /  Source: loser-guy