Bummed

I’ve been pretty bummed lately. I’m so sick of not having a steady job its not fucking funny. I’ve been able to make a few bucks but not much. Last week I made a total of a hundred bucks. Seventy doing yard work and thirty five hooking a midget up with pills. Its fucking pathetic. I hooked up with an old friend not too long ago and he’s always wanting to hang out. Like tonight, he wanted to go play pool and have a few drinks. I’d actually love to. I get tired of friends buying me shit just because I’m broke. I also feel guilty because whenever I go out that means my wife is at home alone with the kids. She rarely gets to go out and have fun like that, so the more I get to, the more guilty I feel. Lately I’ve been taking the job hunt rejection harder than normal. I never thought I’d be unemployed this long, I dont know what else to do but to keep applying wherever I can. But all this shit has got me really down in the dumps. Our oldest daughter needs new shoes again, when I was working it never was an issue. If the kids or Quinn needed something we could afford it and get it. Now its a struggle to get the simplest of things. I just hate struggling especially since I’m more than willing to do pretty much anything for a paying job.

3 months ago  /  1 note